Reasons For Failure of Relationships
By: Tonny Otieno
Posted on Monday, April 5, 2021
There are countless reasons why relationships are failing; disloyalty, disrespect, time... Speaking on Switch TV Kenya’s Full Circle with Mwikali, renowned lifestyle coach Benjamin Zulu highlighted some of the things that lead to the failure of most relationships.
According to Zulu, the main cause of relationship failure is trust issues. Trust issues can come as a result of inconsistent behavior, suspicious conduct, broken promises, and suspicion with no proof. He stated that not everyone you are in love with is marriageable. The moment trust fails to exist in a relationship, nothing good can come out of it and people should stop ignoring these red flags.
Going through life at different speeds is another reason why relationships fail. If one party is learning at a higher pace while the other is stagnant, it is difficult to get to a point of convergence. The individual who is learning faster will have a different kind of social interaction with people, experience life and begin looking at it in a different angle and as the process continues, coming to a mutual meeting point becomes a challenge.
A strong and a healthy relationship is one where both parties grow towards the same direction. According to Zulu, both the parties might be growing, but in different directions and this is not healthy for a relationship.
“You need to adjust and give up some things, so that your lives are still compatible and working together. Trees grow but sometimes you shape their growth to a certain direction." Zulu said.
Lack of boundaries, interference by in-laws, and unstructured relationships with both families is the other cause of broken relationships. Contempt comes as a result of being physically visible to your mother-in-law. According to Zulu, it does not matter whether the mother-in-law or the wife are both good. Boundaries need to be set to avoid conflicts of interest which in such a case is difficult to avoid. A man needs to find a way for his woman to have her own privacy.
Money can determine whether a relationship will stand or fall. According to Zulu, money is important in every relationship as it keeps things going. However, the moment an element of secrecy arises when it comes to issues to do with money, trust becomes broken, and everything falls apart. Every money that comes in, is for everyone, and not for one person. If you don’t handle it well, an element of insecurity will chip in and this will lead to failure of the relationship.
watch the video below for the full show.
