Nameless and Wahu's secret for a lasting marriage.
By: Joan Wangari
Posted on Tuesday, September 22, 2020
Having unrealistic expectations may cause your heart to hurt and leave you frustrated. Learning to expect less from the people we love is the hardest lesson. Love is important but not enough to last you a life time. Compatibility and having the same focus is what glues people together. Having similar goals and the same commitment will fuel and propel your relationship, making the fire last very long. Men and women have been wired differently and that affects how they relate with each other.
According to Benjamin Zulu, the first thing to never ever do after you graduate is to get married. The relationship psychologists discouraged women from marrying 25-year-old men. “At this age, men are at the exploration phase. Very few men are mature at this age,” says Zulu. He adds “When you get married to a man below 30 years, you interfere with his exploration stage. Your marriage may end up in a tragic and slow painful death.”
Once you are married, the fire burns out, the butterflies end and you no longer feel what you felt in day one. Take a look at couples that have been happily married for many years, they have faced life together. Benjamin advised people to get married to people who are goal oriented and excited about results; projects and challenges keep the fire burning. After accomplishing a set goal, the two of you feel motivated and are ready to face the next stage of your life together.
Love is shared not given. Trying to find happiness from your partner will make the relationship crumble. “By the time you are getting married, you need to be an interdependent person. You need to be fine alone and realize that getting together with another makes you better,” said Zulu. When you are dependent on your partner, you will exhaust them and drain them. Imagine having a spouse who constantly seeks validation from you? You are in the relationship to complement each other and not to complete one another. “Do not make your partner your life, let your partner be part of your life,” says Zulu.
Marriage works but it only works when you settle down with the right person. The Mathenges, a Kenyan celebrity couple, have proved that marriage is workable and beautiful. They have been married for 15 years. The compatibility of David Mathenge aka ‘Nameless’ and his wife Wahu Kagwi is enviable. Both of them are musicians who have contributed to the growth of the Kenyan entertainment scene. A decade and a half and two babies later, both are still composing hit songs. The two are graduates from the prestigious University of Nairobi. Wahu graduated with Bachelor of Science and majored in Mathematics; she has a Master’s degree in Communications. Mr. Mathenge graduated with a Bachelor of Architectural studies. Mr. and Mrs. Mathenge are both last-borns.
It all starts from within, what does love mean to you? Pursue happiness in your life and you will always find yourself in happy relationships.
