By: Sere Neema
Posted on Friday, June 14, 2019
Mothers may not find it easy to raise their sons solely. In the present society, many men fail to take responsibility for their children. There are so many single mothers in our current generation.
Absent fathers ‘Submarine men’ - Relationship coach, Victor Salamba describes them as men who are both present and absent. They are part of your life and your son’s life but you are raising your child on your own.
Mothers, understand this…
“Men go through stages while women transition with age… It is easy for a mother to assume that a son will reason like her, yet they are different.”
In say a case, where we seek professional help, we opt for specialists of the same sex as ours. This is because we need people who understand our struggles to actually attend to our needs.
You cannot be his mother and father.
Your son grows into a nice young man, then suddenly drifts and isolates himself. What you do not want to do, is to assume he is rebellious. He is perfectly fine.
A mother cannot take the role of both parents. There are certain stages that only a man can understand.
“You can draw a straight definite line to a man’s past… a man who has a mother’s wound… a mummy’s boy… a man raised by an abusive father…”
To succeed at being a single mum, you have to only be a mother and be good at it.
Men and emotions
A man will do anything to be at peace. If it means doing exactly what you want as a mother, he will. Once he is by himself, he becomes a completely different person.
The first step to handling your boy’s emotions is to accept that he is different and so are you. Avoid trying to blend your world with his, chances are the boy will have a similar personality to yours.
In relationships with their spouses
Is your son a good man? It will only happen if you teach your son at an early age to take responsibility for his actions.
“The moment you hear a mother saying my children are everything, that is a red flag.”