Cheating is Not a Question of LOVE but RESPECT
By: Aska Makori
Posted on Friday, February 28, 2020
Most of us have conformed to the notion that cheating is inevitable. It has been accepted in the society as a norm. We live in times where people get married with cheating as one of their marriage expectations. Cheating has been made so normal that partners have created a situationship called 'open marriage' in the name of exploring and boosting their sex life. It has been glorified to the extent that Holy books such as The Bible are being sort after as references. We live in times where one's prominence is based on body count and cheating is being used as a revenge mechanism; ‘you cheat, I cheat’. It is normal for the cheated partner to be heartbroken and question the love of the one who betrayed them. What they don’t know is that, it’s not a question of love but respect!
Statistics show that you can be emotionally attached to two different people at the same time with the inability to choose who to stay loyal to. In most instances, the cheater would never wish to be in their partner’s shoe.
Quoting Aaron Ben-Zeév, former President of the University of Haifa and a professor of philosophy:
“It seems that there is no logical contradiction in romantically loving two people at the same time, and the issue here is psychological, as it generates profound emotional discord. The discord stems from the fact that by definition, emotions demand partiality, that is, the preference of one over another, which entails some sort of exclusivity. Emotionally, it is extremely painful to imagine your lover in the arms of another person. Indeed, most of those who told of being romantically in love with two people at the same time and pleased with the experience also claimed that they would not like to be at the other end of the relationship; that is, they would find it enormously difficult, if not impossible, to share their beloved with someone else
Also, a person who loves you can still cheat on you with an excuse of having no emotional attachment to the other party; it’s just sex, right? Also, a person who loves you can still cheat on you in secrecy because they don’t want to break your heart then end up losing you; selfish but true. So love doesn’t count, love does not prevent one from cheating.
Respect is the due regard for the feelings, wishes and rights of others. Do you know what this means? A person who respects you will always have your feelings and wishes in their mind all the time. A person who respects you will be fully aware of your rights as their partner and think twice before breaking your trust. They might be tempted to have an affair with another person but their respect for you won’t allow them; respect and loyalty go hand in hand.
A couple that respects each other will always find a way to communicate their issues without necessarily resulting to cheating. Cheating for revenge is the lowest one can stoop and the highest form of self-impudence. If your partner happens to be oblivious and irrational when it comes to airing matters in your relationship, what are you doing with them in the first place? You walked into their life and can always walk out without having to lower your standards in the name of hurting them like they hurt you.
Most relationship don’t recover after cheating because the trust that one had for their partner has been broken and there is no more respect left between the couple. Loveless relationships bound with respect can survive but relationships without respect always end no matter how much love is put in it because where there is no respect, there is no love.
“Those who cheat on their partners who are loyal to them; don't deserve them. It is a trashy attitude to disrespect a person who is loyal in a relationship, by cheating on him or her.”
Ellen J. Barrier, Author: How to Trust God When All Other Resources Have Failed
