How sibling rivalry causes mental illnesses and low self esteem
By: Sere Neema
Posted on Thursday, September 19, 2019
They say family comes first and so the inside relationships should be addressed. When siblings decide my territory is mine, something will break. Hearts get broken, bonds get broken, families split, someone will bite and something will sting. Are we not our brother’s keeper?
TODAY’S PARENT answers the question, when did it all start and how then do we mend our relationships?
How to tell they’re not in terms
“Sibling rivalry will happen no matter the condition or order of birth… it is very normal. If they are having nightmares, changing eating patterns.” Behavioral and personality change is the most common, but not associating with other siblings means the situation is out of control.
A little bit of rivalry is healthy, too much of it is toxic. It may result to long-term hatred, mental illnesses as well as low self-esteem.
Here is what’s going left and how to deal with it…
The long-term solution
Know your children and stop making them a ‘mini you’. Allow them to be themselves because they’re different and have unique strengths. With every order comes different personalities.
If they fight, teach them conflict resolution skills but first, listen to each child individually. Spend time with all of them but with each, their own. Fifteen minutes with each everyday…
If they are adults and affected, psychologists help in knowing the root cause and help in the forgiving process as well as accepting themselves and moving forward. Forgive your parents, then live life in your terms.
Counselling psychologist Esther Mbau says, check yourself as a parent. Accept who you are, then accept your children as they are. A quick tip? Team building helps understand each other.
