Having feelings for our friends can be very tricky and may put us in a weird place. When in such a situation we are faced with so much fears. We don’t want to lose our friendship with the other person but we also want to make our feelings known. Such situations require lots of patience and wisdom. Building a relationship requires a lot of time and work. Love is delicate.
Transitioning from a friendship to a romantic relationship requires a lot of caution. It may be scary but it is important to note that it is very possible. There may be a lot of expectation from both parties as you envision a smooth love relationship just as your friendship was. While most people think that sex can help in the transition, Benjamin Zulu says that sex is a non starter. Zulu who is a psychologist and relationship’s counselor says that transitioning from friendship to a love relationship brings about awkwardness and a lack of trust.
While speaking to Switch TV’s Joyce Omondi, on Full Circle with Joyce, Zulu gave out a list of the dos and donts in the journey to the transition. One of the things one should never do is to create a friendship with someone you already have feelings for. Do not act like you are platonic and only interested in being their friend. Putting yourself in the friend zone will make it even harder to get into a serious romantic relationship and you may miss out on the chance of ever being together. According to Zulu, do not become lovers because you are both lonely. Let your love evolve. The relationship should start from a very sincere and realistic place. You need to criticize your feelings and confirm your feelings. After you confirm that you have legit feelings, disclose your feelings so that you may not miss out on a happy ever after together.
Once you realize you have feelings for your friend, open the possibility of romance by introducing affection. Slight physical contact communicates something. Hold their hand, pull chairs, open doors, hold the shoulder of the friend in a strategic manner. Do the small things that are thoughtful because they have an affectionate angle. Let your body communicate your feelings. Be creative with how you communicate your emotions. Do not love bomb your friend you may end up pushing the friend away.
Let your actions leave your friend guessing. After you sense that the feelings are mutual. Arrange a very romantic date and let your feelings be known. Chances are that your friend also loves you and you may actually end up together forever. The advantage of being in a relationship with your friend is the learning curve has been shortened and both of you know each other very well.
I hope these guidelines will help you take that girl out or disclose your feelings to that boy that Is your friend. All the best as you take your relationship to the next level